FOLLOWxYOURxBLiSS's Blog

In middle school i would say “i’m fat,” but more because i was being taught to think that i was fat, rather than actually feeling fat; it wasn’t until 8th grade that i decided:

i’m not fat at all.

i still agree with that statement. i don’t honestly think i’m fat and i know that i am nowhere near overweight. i just have many imperfections, that could be fixed by losing weight.

anyway, i was a gymnast until my freshman year, when i decided to quit to get more involved with friends & sports at school. that summer, I “caught” my dad cheating on my mom. he later told me that i shouldnt have been listening to his conversation, and that him and Bridget (gf) had only done what Ryan (my now ex) and i had done [his little girl wasnt a virgin anymore], but he said held hands and kissed. right there started him off like a dumbass. i honestly don’t give a shit if you fucked the bitch or just held her hand. giving your emotions to someone else, is cheating. so, my parents seperated that summer. i started noticing my toned body was fading, leaving me looking pudgy, around the middle of my sophomore year. memory: i was on the phone with Ryan, crying because i felt so fat and so ugly.

the first time i did it: i remember i was simply too full. i didnt think this is going to make me fat, i just felt like i would explode from eating so much and being so uncomfortable.

i was running track at the end of my sophomore year when i began purging regularly. i remember i would be starving after two and a half hours of sprints, so i would ask my mom to take me to McDonalds for food. i ate everything i got, and um, well.. its mcdonalds, so i tried not to keep much of it in. i actually did very well in track that year. i made it to districts in the hurdles; that summer i stopped purging and started restricting, as well as over-exercising. all of the purging and restricting i had done, hadn’t made me lose any weight, but i didnt realize then that i had an ed.

i started my junior year in the fall of ’08. i did well- ate how i always had without purging, but then i lost muscle, from not running anymore. i needed something to help me lose weight. i began purging more and more, until it slowly became every dinner on school nights, i would purge, and sometimes when i went out to dinner with Corey on the weekends, i would purge. i never really ate breakfast so i pretty much only got in lunch, and breakfast sometimes on the weekends, but no dinner most of the time. i also started doing high school gymnastics, where i began restricting throughout the school day, purging whatever i ate after school, and exercising at gymnastics. i did lose a tiny bit of weight! my legs looked so hott, but then i started to eat lunch at school again, and gained it back. at the end of the gymnastics season, i tore cartilage in my knee and had to get surgery even while i was still purging. the surgery meant i was out of track for a few weeks, and when i came back i got mono. i was actually very happy to get mono because i hated track. i just wanted to go home every day after school, not stay and run. being out of track, i started smoking weed love the shit. so i smoked, and i began restricting all day at school, and purging everything i ate, in which case i started losing weight.

over the summer i would just restrict or purge everything i ate, making my weight drop from 130 in may to 104 in september.

i lost 30 pounds in for months.
that is a very brief and incomplete story on my ed.

-B

so the past few days have just been a blur, really. what i REALLY wanted comments on was my kitty cat diet.

my cat seems to be a bit of a compulsive eater. she meows allll the effing time and then once we do feed her, she gorges and eats a ton, so she doesn’t have any food for the next 24 hours. in order to hopefully save my cat from diabetes (if she doesn’t already have it), i was thinking about a meal plan for pussy. haha

before introducing the meal plan, here is my beauty Cammi:

she’s a big gal!

so i was think this: feed her 1/4 a cup of cat food every six hours, and three TBS of cat food every six hours (every three hours between meals).

my hope: she’ll lose weight, and learn to eat small meals throughout the day, so i only have to feed her one time, and she doesnt binge on it. thoughts?

thanks!

-B